Mommy Hostess

I remember the days when I used to love hosting parties, I stayed awake all night long dreaming of themes and small ways to exhibit that theme through every party element. Lets not forget the baked goods, there were the mini sugar cookie high heels I placed on mini chocolate cakes for my “No Sex in the City Party” the 3-D werewolf cupcakes for my Twilight New Moon Birthday Party and the homemade fortune cookies for my first Los Angeles Asian themed birthday party. I would make complex dishes, set up a full fledged bar with cocktails - Cosmos for the NSATC party, a blood bank of red mix-ins for the New Moon party and the Coffee bar for my Coffee and Chocolates party, ahhh those were the days. I used to run all around town from grocery store to craft store to 99cent store to find the perfect items to put the finishing touches on each party and I loved every second of it. Two years ago – happily engaged and not yet married I threw together a last minute golden party for my fiancée and me to watch the Oscars. Of course that was all before THE BABY came along. Last year I couldn’t even bring myself to watch the Oscars barring I was so heartbroken from being pregnant and was sure that that state of being officially put the nail in the coffin of the dream I had to ever be at the Oscars. Even for my baby shower before the baby came I dreamed and sketched some of the cutest cupcake for the event but was just too pregnant and exhausted to make them happen. This year for the Oscars I invited some people over, I had no ideas for themes or party pizzazz. But I kept trying to think of something clever in between popping my boob in my sons mouth, changing his diaper, his clothes, rocking him to sleep, making stupid faces and cooing at him but nothing came to mind. I was going to go to three stores to get various items but by the time I got him up, dressed fed, myself dressed and the house semi presentable for guests I barely had time to get to one store. I knew I could only do items that involved absolutely no cooking because when you have a baby you just step away long enough to either break your sauce, overcook your meat or over boil your sugar mixture for rice crispy treats. So I reduced my spread to store bought sangria with fresh fruit chopped and mixed in, canned hummus with pita bread (which I over heated in the oven to the point of chewiness because I tended to the babe), and some fresh fruit sprinkled on a tray. It was lackluster to say the least. The day before I had decided I was only going to have rice crispy treats cause I had been craving them for almost a year but as alluded to earlier while cooking the sugar mixture I let it boil too long and they became too hard to eat let alone to offer to guests. (I did offer them but warned people they may just lose a filling). All in all by the time people got there I was too exhausted to even do my usual meet, greet, fix and pour drinks, it took everything I had to keep my eyes open which of course wasn’t aided by the fact the Oscars were SUPER LONG AND BORING this year even with young hot hosts. I remember when I too was a young hot host, full of ideas and fervor to entertain now I am just a tired ass mom. This is not a self deprecating post nor is it a request for guests to offer me reassuring comments it is just a statement of the facts of who I was and who I am becoming. I think that is the hardest thing about Motherhood letting go of who you were and getting to know who you are becoming – It’s a process, a long one and I am only four sleep deprived months in.